I need more than coffee in the morning

Obedience

2010-08-03T08:40:00.002-04:00

As my act of obedience I have decided to restart this blog. I desperately need the accountability! I want to make sure that not only am I reading my Bible everyday, but that I'm learning from it and that it is slowly changing my life. I do not want to look back on my life a year from now and see the same person that I see today.

Sometimes I feel so stale as if nothing has ever changed. I see the sin in my life and I know that I have carried it with my forever, but every once in a while when I really glance back into my past I see tremendous amounts of change. Praise the Lord. There was a time when I starting to serve the Lord (again) that I was frustrated because of the shortness of time. "I can't believe its only been two years!!!" It seemed so insignificant in comparison to my whole life that had been such a rollercoaster of a relationship with my God. Although my times of living in my faith greatly outweighed the time I spent in utter rebellion, those times were always present in my mind - huge failures destroying the life that God had prepared for me.

It has now been 5 years since I have been on a continual upward journey. In 2005 I got married and I consider that to be the starting point of my obedience. Not that I don't repeatedly fail, but I have not stepped back into the utter rebellion that my flesh has always called me to in the past. Together my husband and I have faced the challenges of walking with the Lord and year by year we have moved forward, never looking back. Praise God for His grace and His mercy. Praise Him for giving us everything we need to live a life of godliness! One thing I know for sure, is that I will forever carry the capability to return to a life characterized by sin, but by the grace of God I do not HAVE to. He has given me a choice to follow Him, so I will be obedient to that call. I have learned that being at peace with God is worth anything He asks of me and anywhere He leads me!

I've felt distant from Jesus for a short while now - I feel the conviction to spend more time with Him, but when it comes down to that time, I make other choices. I've decided to start reading again through Matthew. What better way to connect myself to my Lord than to study the course of His life here on earth, to see how he faced the issues I face and understand His love for people? I pray that it will rub on me - sooner than later.

One of the themes running through the first 3 chapters of Matthew is obedience. I don't think I've ever really noticed before because I was distracted by the Christmas story itself. Jesus, in the ultimate act of obedience chose to give up His home, separate Himself from His Father, and reduce Himself to the confines of a human life - out of obedience to God. Mary, chose to give up a normal life and a good reputation to give birth to the Son of God. Joseph gave up his good standing in the community along with his reputation to marry a woman who was having a child that was not his own. The magi from the east defied a King in order to save this baby's life, ultimately putting themselves in jeopardy. Obedience to God comes at a great cost - but it is always worth it. In Matthew 3, Jesus has grown into a man and sets out to be baptized by his cousin, John. They have a discussion over who should baptize who, and again, Jesus is obedient to His Father, allows a mere sinful man to baptize Him, the Son of God so that He can be the example to us. Jesus wasn't the only one who came out - hundreds of people came to see John baptizing people. Among them, were a group of Pharisees. John it almost seems goes out of his way to insult them by referring to them as a brood of vipers! His intent however, was to warn them of living a life of disobedience. He told them to go and live a life characterized by repentance - in other words, obedience.

Its funny, I think about obedience for two days and the morning of the third I am tested in this very area. I guess that's where the growing comes in. Lord help me to be obedient - at home, at work, at church, to my husband and ultimately to You in ALL things!

Benefits

2009-02-08T07:21:00.004-05:00

Romans 6:21 asks the questions, "what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed?"

First, are there things that you look back on in your life and feel shame as a result? No matter what your background is, or how BIG or little your sins were, if Jesus has saved you, then I am sure that there are things in your past that are shameful - whether other people know about them or not. For me - its an awful lot!

I can remember feeling really excited once I realized how shameful my past was to me because it showed me how much I had already changed. I am hoping to look at my life one year from now and see things that I am ashamed of - the idea is that Jesus is constantly weeding out the sin in our lives - bringing it to the surface and removing it altogether. Sanctification - the process of being made holy.

All of chapter 6 in Romans is Paul making both sides of the carnal argument whether it is better to sin or not. 'are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?' Of course the answer is no - but Paul continues with this argument and after laying it out, he ends it with the verse above - "Therefore what benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is death."

The 'therefore' referring to the argument he has made all chapter - and the answer to his own question - no wonder these things bring shame - in the end they only lead you to death.

In a recent Bible study, we were challenged to think of the benefits we used to reap from what we would do that now we regard with such shame - Mine is still a struggle - but the Lord has brought me very far. I think the heart of it was I had the desire to be admired by people - Fitting in, is a part of that, but really its a desire to stand out and be spoken well of. I received a lot of attention for certain things that I was able to do well (attention that as I look back, I see was much undeserved). Usually the sin fell to my mouth - what could I say to separate myself from the people who were like me - what was funny - what made me 'one of the guys'. My mouth still gets me into trouble, but not nearly as much, and certainly not in the same ways.

The underlying struggle is still here in my heart as well, but the people I associate with are different, so their expectations are different, resulting in my actions being different. I have surrounded myself with people within the church. This, of course has caused huge failure in my life as well, and step by step God is weeding it out of my heart - teaching me to only look to Him for approval. Every single thing I do, I know people who do it better - and that is a great place for me to be in - even when I'm complemented I know that I am not on top of anything - and that is a good place for me to be. God has been so good and so gracious to me - He has set me up in a spot where I can grow, where I can give glory to Him, and where I can look to Him and Him alone for fulfillment.

Romans 6:22 says, "But now having been freed from sin and enslaved to God, you derive your benefit, resulting in sanctification and the outcome, eternal life." Praise the Lord! He carries us step by step, showing us our sin, and slowly working it out of us - sanctifying us - making us holy.

The choice is ours - He does not force it on us - we are to present God our lives, consider ourselves dead to sin. He tells us not to let sin reign in our bodies - all of these phrases and words portray actions that we are to do - which means we have the power to do - we are not hopelessly lost to these bodies of sin that have brought so much pain throughout our lives - God has set us free. He is sanctifying us - making us holy - fit for eternal life with Him!

At Peace With God

2009-01-31T09:00:00.004-05:00

Romans 4 ends with us being credited righteousness based on our faith (not works) in Jesus Christ. Romans 5 picks up right from there - "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."

Observation #1 - We have PEACE with God! In spite of everything we've done, and everything we will do in the future, we have PEACE with God! It doesn't mean, of course, that I don't need to continually come to the Lord and repent and be cleaned up. And it doesn't mean that I've arrived or that I'm fine the way I am. It just means that in this moment, I am not condemned by my sins - past, present, or future. I am at peace with God which frees me up to follow after Him with all of my heart, mind, and life and that I do not have to walk on eggshells, wondering if I'm still saved, or if He's mad at me. We are at peace - perfect - lasting - unexplainable peace.

Observation #2 - We have stepped into His grace (state of God's favor). We stand firm in this grace and are now able to experience and enjoy the glory of God. Which means, that before we had placed our faith in Jesus, we were not and would not ever be able to truly experience or enjoy the glory of God (because of sin - but now we are at peace with God). This is another step in forming a relationship with God - learning to enjoy Him - not just fear, reverence and sit in awe of Him (although these are good and important also).

Observation #3 - Being at peace with God and standing in His grace draws us forward into life with Him where we learn to exult and triumph in our tribulations (troubles and sufferings) BECAUSE we know that tribulation brings about perseverance which brings character which brings hope - and that hope will not disappoint us because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts.

God has made us at peace with Him and brought us into His grace. Now, through His grace we walk through times of suffering, filled with difficulties that will bring about perseverance, which leads to character and ultimately ends with filling us with hope that will never disappoint because of the love of God that is poured into our hearts. I could never do this justice by trying to explain what I think, but I'll try anyways - its almost written as though grace is the gateway to tribulations and sufferings. At least its the natural progression and yet we look at it like its the most unnatural thing in the world. As soon as life gets hard, we question what we've done wrong - instead of what we're doing right. We look at it as punishment instead of looking to see what God is refining in us. We're not perfect to start out - that's why He saved us in the first place. Now, He is making us His very own - and our very best. I don't want to fight against what He is trying to do in me. I want to persevere. I want proven character. I want to be filled with hope no matter what the circumstance and I want to have the love of God poured out in my life so that it overflows onto every person that I come in contact with. Praise the Lord because this is the exact path that He has each of us on. We are not brought into right standing with God to go about our lives and know we have a safety net in place. We are brought into right standing with God so that we can approach Him boldly, so that we can know Him on a deep and intimate level and so that we can be changed to be the very best that we could ever possibly be and so much better than we could ever possibly imagine!

complain complain complain.....

2009-01-29T08:23:00.003-05:00

I heard a message recently on complaining - Numbers 11. A lot of the points were really good, but I had a couple of thoughts to add.

The message in a nutshell was this: Complaining displeases God. Not only does it displease God, but it spreads (quickly) from person to person and infects you like a disease. Its true. In this story in particular, a couple of people complained, it spread to the rest of the camp so that everyone complained, and ended with even the leadership turning to God and complaining. God's anger was kindled against the complaining in the camp - but not against Moses' complaining. I found that interesting. As I thought about the difference between the people's complaining, and Moses' complaining, what I saw was that Moses took his complaints straight to God. He didn't mull it over with the people around him, he didn't go and vent, or ask for prayer. He just took his complaint straight to God. It doesn't mean that it was good for him to complain - ultimately it should be our goal to trust the Lord so much in any situation that nothing will move us to ever complain because we know that God is in control - however, we are human and shouldn't be ridiculous to think that that is some easy task that we can just pick up and follow through on. The point is that Moses had the type of relationship with God where he could pour out anything to the Lord (this is, by the way, the same type of relationship that we should put into practice). Dump it out on God - He can take it. Not only can He take it, but only He can remove it. When we complain to others we infect them with our sin - we literally pass it along. When we complain to God, He is able to show us the true state of ourselves, siphon it out, and replace the void with His Holy Spirit, giving us the power to move forward in Him.

My prayer for myself is that I will form better habits to 'make everything a prayer request.' There is no reason to hide any part of yourself from God. Bring it all to Him - Let him weed out the crap - and restore the broken parts - ultimately to bring you that much closer to Him. Praise God!!! For He is indeed so good!!!

Romans 4 - Faith

2009-01-29T07:50:00.005-05:00

Romans 4 focuses on the difference between the ideas of being justified by works and justified by faith. Paul gives a pretty simple explanation to begin with - "Now to the one who works, his wage is not credited as a favor, but as what is due. But to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is credited as righteousness." Just to make sure you understand..... When you go to work, you are a paid a certain amount of money. Your employer owes it to you once you have completed the work. Paul is saying that it is the same with our salvation - we have not (can not) work so that our salvation is owed to us - we must believe, because God is giving it to us as a gift (this is why we cannot be prideful - we haven't done anything for it).

Citing the example of Abraham, Paul points out that righteousness was extended to Abraham through faith before he had any 'works' to claim. The specific example used is circumcision. Abraham was credited righteousness before he was circumcised - not after or as a result of his circumcision. Quick side-note here.... every translation that I have states that righteousness was credited to Abraham. It makes me think of a credit card and how it works - A company extends you credit - they essentially give you money to spend and because they have given this money to you, you now work to pay it back. So, the idea is that God has given us His righteousness - ultimately we owe Him our lives (not that He is expecting repayment because He isn't). The point is that our 'works' should be motivated because of the righteousness He has given us - not to receive righteousness from Him. So often I get it backwards. I work because I should - because its expected, not because God loved me enough to send His Son to die for me. The change in perspective opens me up to be merciful and gracious toward everyone I come across.

Moving on....

Here is what really got my attention in this chapter. Still using the example of Abraham, Paul says, "In hope against hope he believed, so that he might become a father of many nations according to that which had been spoken. "So shall your descendants be." Without becoming weak in faith he contemplated his own body, now as good as dead since he was about a hundred years old, and the deadness of Sarah's womb. YET with respect to the promise of God, he did not waver in unbelief but grew strong in faith giving glory to God and being fully assured that what God had promised He was able also to perform. Therefore it was also credited to him as righteousness." The way I would have read the story in Genesis would be to say that Abraham didn't trust God to fulfill His promise, but this clearly states that isn't true. What I think is beautiful is that we have the ability to question God - so say, "I do not have any idea at all how You are going to pull this out" and that that does not negate your faith. We don't need to understand. We just need to believe that God is able to do what He has promised - And He Always Is!!!! This is what makes my relationship with God so real and tangible - I don't need to put on act and come to Him on my best behavior, flattering Him with foolish words. I need to come exactly as I am - angry, thankful, in awe, frustrated, hurt, excited, etc. etc. etc. Talk it out - give it to Him - if I feel ungrateful, give that up too. He is the only one that can draw these thoughts and feelings out and replace them with the filling of His Holy Spirit.

So that's it - Trust God - Believe in Him - not to obtain righteousness, but because He has already given it to You - And know, always know that He is able to perform what He has promised!!!!

Righteouness vs. Unrighteousness

2009-01-15T06:41:00.005-05:00

Paul, in Romans 1:16 - 19 says,

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith as it is written, "But the righteous man shall live by faith." For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men who suppress the truth in unrighteousness because that which is known about God is evident within them; for God made it evident to them."

There are two groups of people described here - the RIGHTEOUS, who live by faith and the UNRIGHTEOUS, who suppress the truth of God. Ultimately, Paul is referring to the difference between believers and those who have rejected the gospel, but really it can be broken down in our own lives as Christians. How much of my life is lived by faith and how much of my life is lived by suppressing the truth that God has made available to me?

Once you give your life to Jesus, you are made a new person - born again - but the old sinful man still resides inside you. Now there is a battle - until you die and the sinful man is finally stripped from you once and for all (praise the Lord; I cannot wait to be done with this body of sin). So, the new man lives by faith - as we follow the "righteousness of God that is revealed from faith to faith." The amplified Bible says, "For in the Gospel a righteousness which God ascribes is revealed, both springing from faith and leading to faith..." That's where we want to live - in the midst of faith. Our 'righteousness' began with faith when we accepted Jesus' sacrifice for our sin and as we walk in that righteousness (through faith) we are lead into a life that brings more faith (as we draw near to God and He reveals Himself to us one step at a time).

The opposite of walking in this faith is to suppress the truth that God has revealed to us and pushing forward in our flesh. Romans 1 goes on to describe what happens to the person that suppresses the truth of God. Verse 23 says, "For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie and worshipped and served the creature rather than the Creator who is blessed forever." The result is that God gave the people over to a depraved mind, "to do those things which are not proper, being filled with all unrighteousness, wickedness, greed, evil; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, malice, they are gossips, slanderers haters of God, insolent, arrogant, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, without understanding, untrustworthy, unloving, unmerciful, and although they know the ordinance of God, that those who practice such things are worthy of death, they not only do the same, but also give hearty approval to those who practice them."

In the context of Romans 1, these verses are (I believe) distinguishing between people who accept the truth of God that He has revealed to them and give their lives to Him and people who have rejected the truth of God that He has made available to them and turned their backs on him. However, I also believe that there are lessons here for the Christian - for me anyway - Am I seeking out truth from God or am I looking to suppress His truth and create my own? The result is either living from faith to faith, continually growing and drawing closer to God as you begin to know Him better, or going the other way and bringing carnal behaviors into your life (and often the church) like strife, gossip, deceit, malice, arrogance and being unmerciful.

The encouragement is then to seek out the truth of God - even when its hard, even when its uncomfortable. The price you pay for suppressing the truth of God is never worth it.

As Iron Sharpens Iron, So One Man Sharpens Another

2009-01-12T06:32:00.005-05:00

Romans 1:11-12

"For I long to see you so that I may impart some spiritual gift to you, that you may be established; that is, that I may be encouraged together with you while among you, each of us by the other's faith, both yours and mine."

Here, Paul shares his heart with the believers in Rome - He longs to see them, and this is why - to impart some spiritual gift to them so that they can stand firm in their faith and be well established. He clarifies what he really means by saying that I may be encouraged together with you, each by the other's faith. That is how our faith should operate - to encourage each other. How encouraging are you to be around? What is your conversation when surrounded by other believers? Do you talk about what God has done? What He is doing? How He is teaching you? Or is your conversation no different from that in the world?

I recently spent a couple of hours talking to a friend of mine and upon leaving her home, all I could think about was how much more I wanted to know Jesus. What an impact to have on people!! This is the effect that I would like to have on people. I want my relationship with Jesus to be so full that it overflows into the lives of everyone I come in contact with, so that when they walk away from me their desire has grown to know Him more.

At the end of 2009 my hope is to look back over the year and see that I have become a completely different person - can you imagine the changes if you run towards the Lord with ALL your heart, with ALL your mind, and with ALL your strength for an entire year? Its like training vigorously for anything athletic - a year of solid training would make such vast improvements that you wouldn't even recognize yourself! That is what I long for spiritually. One of the first steps then, is to re-examine my faith, and observe how it functions. What do I use it for? Do I use it to comfort other people? To encourage and be encouraged in turn? Do I do what I can to cause it to grow? Exercise it?

Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." I have had friends that sharpen me and friends that cause me to be dull and I know that I have had friends that I sharpen and friends that I have caused to become dull - Lord forgive me.

So from this point, right now, I pray Jesus, that You would cause me to be a sharpening tool. Make me mindful of every word before spoken and every thought before action taken. Make me a tool that sharpens the people around me and help me to have the wisdom to surround myself with people that will sharpen me.

Peter and Judas

2009-01-07T06:33:00.004-05:00

Usually I write about something that I've learned or at least am learning from my time with the Lord. Today is a little bit different - today I'm writing about something I would like to learn and understand, but at the moment I have no real, definite insight into. Peter and Judas. I'm sure that this has been studied and written about, so perhaps I just need to do some digging, but there is something special about studying just the Bible - without a commentary - and relying on the Lord to speak (not that commentarys are bad or not useful - every gifted Pastor that I know and respect uses them).

Jesus announces at the last supper that one of his disciples will betray him, that all will abandon him, and that Peter will deny him - 3 times before the night is out. As the night progresses, everything that Jesus prophesied came true. Judas betrayed Jesus to the religious leaders, the disciples turn and ran, and Peter denied Jesus vehemently 3 seperate times that same night. Peter, realizing what he had done immediately after the 3rd denial, went out and wept bitterly.

Judas is found in a similar yet completely different situation. Judas has betrayed Jesus. He saw Jesus being condemned by the leaders and he felt remorse. He knew that he had sinned by betraying the innocent and he went straight to the leaders to return the money he had taken. He threw it into the temple, went away, and hanged himself.

What a terrible story! Two men in very similar situations with very different outcomes. Why? I wish that we had more details into the inner workings of their hearts. I wish we could see what the real difference was between them. I imagine that Peter although bitterly ashamed had some type of hope down in his soul - he never hit the level of despair that Judas seemed to. The gospel of Mark singles Peter out after Jesus's resurrection - the angel appears to the women at the tomb and says, "Go and tell the disciples and Peter." There still needed to be that time of reconciliation between Peter and Jesus. Peter's life had been changed by his exposure to Jesus. At the moment of his denials he had stepped back, given into the flesh, and reacted out of fear - but He had been changed nonetheless. Judas, it would seem, was never changed by his encounters with Jesus. It seems like he went along with him, and when it appeared that his greatest advancement could come from betraying Jesus, that was the way he turned. The realization of what he had done did not come until later. Perhaps his eyes were opened at that moment to everything he had missed along the way - I don't know. I know that he was overcome by his guilt and because he had not a shred of hope he did what he could to escape it - he killed himself. Its sad.

As a lesson I guess its best to examine your heart to see why it is that You follow Jesus. To get something? To advance? To know him? To be changed by him? Motives are difficult to sort through and often times there are hidden agendas that will not be revealed until God chooses to show them to you. Its best to seek the Lord now - to ask Him what is in your heart - to ask Him to fix what is in your heart - repent now, while you can - and place your hope continually in Him.

The Betrayal of Jesus

2009-01-05T06:24:00.003-05:00

I'm coming to the end of Matthew in my morning times. There are only 2 chapters left. Most of Jesus' teaching has been done, most of his life has been lived - He and the disciples are eating the passover meal and Jesus announces that one of them will betray Him and all of them will turn their backs on Him. They, of course, cannot believe this and immediately ask Jesus if he was talking about them in particular - "is it me, Lord?" "Surely you're not talking about me!" etc. etc... Jesus lets it go, but not until He is spoken point blank to Peter "Before the rooster crows you will deny knowing me 3 times." Peter cannot picture himself denying Jesus so He swears to go even to death with his Lord. The problem I see with Peter in this particular instance (and several others) is that he is focused on the flesh. Jesus goes to pray and tells a few of his disciples - including Peter - to watch and pray in order that they might not fall into temptation, but when Jesus returns to check on them, they are all asleep! There was no preparation - no getting their minds focused on God - no strengthening of their communication with the Father - just sleep. After returning twice, Jesus wakes them and tells them its time. Judas brings a mob to take Jesus away and betrays him with a kiss. The mob seize Jesus and Peter, trying -in the flesh- to be good to his word, steps forward and chops off the ear of the High Priest's servant. Jesus repairs the ear, tells Peter to put away his sword, and that these things must happen. Jesus, because He has spent the entire night in communication with his Father, verifying the Father's will and purpose, is prepared for what lies ahead. Peter, living in the flesh, fresh from a nap, out of sync with God's will, steps up to arm himself and Jesus the only way he knows how - in the flesh. Jesus puts a stop to it, and because Peter sees that his only weapon has been removed, he turns and runs away. I imagine he was ashamed at not being able to defend Jesus, he was probably angry, probably hurt, and definitely frustrated - He didn't understand.

The key in this story for me, is being connected to the Father. Jesus was desperate to spend time with God - to understand His will, to be prepared for whatever was coming, to be 100% with the Spirit of God. Now, if Jesus, being God Himself, was desperate to spend that quite time alone with God in order to carry out God's will, shouldn't I, be even more desperate to spend time alone with God? Instead, I am often in the place of the disciples - too tired - unmotivated - busy - to take the time to communicate with God, to align myself with His perfect will. The result is that I get up and go out to face my day in the flesh - wielding weapons of the flesh - and end up making a mess of things. Jesus says to the disciples in 26:41 "keep watching and praying that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." That's the key - keep watching - keep praying - and You will not enter into temptation. I was told that K.P. Yohannan said once that its difficult to sin when you are in constant communication with the Father. Lord help me - prepare me - keep me.

What a waste?

2009-01-04T08:28:00.003-05:00

Now when Jesus was in Bethany, at the home of Simon the leper, a woman came to Him with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume, and she poured it on His head as he reclined at the table. But the disciples were indignant when they saw this, and said, "Why this waste? For this perfume might have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor." But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, "Why do you bother the woman? For she has done a good deed to Me. For you always have the poor with you; but you do not always have Me. For when she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me or burial. Truly I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be spoken of in memory of her."

I'm not sure how much I really understand of this story. Right before this Jesus tells his disciples that "after two days the Passover is coming, and the Son of Man is to be handed over for crucifixion." The next verse is about the elders and the chief priests plotting to take Jesus away in secret right after passover. Then, we are here at Simon's home, witnessing the scene with this woman and her alabaster vial of expensive perfume. Did she hear Jesus telling the disciples he would be crucified? Did she hear of the plot to take Jesus after Passover? Was it something that God had revealed to her in the depths of her heart? She must have had an inkling of some sort - from the disciples reaction, we see that it was not a common day practice. Perhaps they had become too legalistic at the moment to see the beauty and necessity of her sacrifice. For me it comes down to cherishing the time that I have with Jesus as this woman did. She had a moment to spend with him where she could pour out all she had into worship of Him and she took advantage of it. That is how I want to live my life - taking full advantage of every moment I am presented to have in intimacy with Jesus. I do not want to become legalistic with my time, my money, my anything - I want to be always ready to enter into a moment with my Lord - to worship Him.

The Practical Side of being Righteous

2009-01-03T10:21:00.004-05:00

We cannot make ourselves to be righteous through any kind of 'work'. We are saved and made righteous in God's eyes through the 'work' of Jesus alone - through his death. However, there is a very real and very tangible, practical part of righteousness. It brings to my mind the discussion James has in the second chapter of his letter concerning faith and works. He says, in a mock discussion, "You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works." It is not the works that save, but they are the proof that the faith is real. The order and motivation are what is important - the faith must come first and because of the faith, works will naturally follow.

Back to Matthew 25. Jesus is discussing the judgement and he compares it to a shepherd separating the goats from the sheep. He sets them on either side of Him and looks to the sheep and says (starting in verse 34) "Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me something to drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me." The sheep in this story question the shepherd saying, "When did we do all of that?" To which Jesus replies, "To the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me."

So, the question for me is really, 'how do I treat the people I come in contact with?' Am I kind? Do I reach out to help people with their physical needs? Do I over-spiritualize things? Do I under-spiritualize things? My problem is more the latter. Often I only go into spiritual details with people in the church. I want to be balanced - the same person all the time - meeting spiritual needs and physical needs of people that I come across.

I just want to be better. I want to improve constantly. I don't want to settle for less than the very best that God has for me. I don't want to miss opportunities. I want to grow.

Is Every Day Too Much?

2009-01-02T09:30:00.004-05:00

Whether you can tell from reading these posts or not, they are generally a bit time consuming to write and they require a lot of thought. I would love to take the time each morning to share what I am learning as I read through the Bible. It really might be too big of a goal, but we'll see.

Here we are at the start of a new year. I have been challenged to ask God for a verse for 2009. What I received in response was an entire parable:

Matthew 25:14-30

"For it (the kingdom of heaven) is just like a man about to go on a journey, who called his own slaves and entrusted his possessions to them. To one gave five talents, to another, two, and to another, one, each according to his own ability; and he went on his journey."
"Immediately the one who had received the five talents went and traded with them, and gained five more talents. in the same manner the one who had received the two talents gained two more. But he who received the one talent went away and dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money."
"Now after a long time the master of those slaves came and settled accounts with them. The one who had received the five talents came up and brought five more talents, saying, 'Master, you entrusted five talents to me. See, I have gained five more talents.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.' Also the one who had received the two talents came up and said, 'Master, you entrusted two talents to me. See, I have gained two more talents.' His master said to him, 'Well done, good and faithful slave. You were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.' And the one also who had received the one talent came up and said, 'Master, I knew you to be a hard man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you scattered no seed. And I was afraid and went away and hid your talent in the ground. See, you have what is yours.' But his master answered and said to him, 'You wicked, lazy slave, you knew that I reap where I did not sow and gather where I scattered no seed. Then you ought to have put my money in the bank and on my arrival I would have received my money back with interest. Therefore take away the talent from him, and give it to the one who has the ten talents.' For to everyone who has, more shall be given, and he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have, even what he does have shall be taken away. Throw out the worthless slave into the outer darkness; in that place there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."

I guess that one of the first things that really jumped out at me this time is that the master gave what was his to his servants to use for himself. Does that make sense? Its like he gave them a job to do while he was gone. 'take this money of mine, and go make more money for me.' It was never about the servants. So, I see that in my life, what I have is not about me. Its about Jesus who has given it to me. More than that, its about what I'm doing with what He has given me for Him and His benefit. It really changes the entire perspective on life. Its not about what I do with my money that is best for me - its about what I do with the money He has given me that is best for HIM!!! Its totally different. This is not just about money, and not just about talents. Its about EVERYTHING. Everything that I have and everything that I am is on loan to me from Jesus - it is on loan for one purpose - for him. He has loaned me life so that I can make something out of it for Him. Really, it places much more responsibility on my shoulders. If something belongs to someone else then I am much more apt to take better care of it than if it belongs to me. There is a certain respect for other people's things when you are borrowing them. My prayer in response to this is that I will always be mindful that EVERYTHING I have and am is on loan from Jesus Christ. I pray that I will cherish what He has given me and always take the utmost care with it.

The second thing that really jumped out at me as I was reading this story again this morning is that the servants where to go out an add to what they were given. They were to take what they were given originally and use that to get more. So, for me anyways - God has given me many different things - a Christian family - base knowledge of Truth and the Bible - love for music - etc. etc. the list continues on. It is up to me, to take the things that He has given me and to use them to add to them. Does that make sense? Hopefully to help it make more sense..... God has given me a foundation in right and wrong. I have a Christian family, I have been raised in Christian churches that teach the truth. However, it is up to me to take that foundation and build on it, applying truth to my life and seeking after more, or I can tuck that bit of truth away and never use it or apply it and eventually lose it altogether. The bottom line is that I do not want to look at what I have been given, say, "God is good" and then set it away never to be used again. I want to look at my life, recognize what God has given me and use it to its fullest potential in order to gain things that He hasn't just handed me (like the fruits of the spirit and other things that come from using what God has given me). I do not want to settle for less - I do not want to be lazy - I do not ever want to say, "that's just the way I am." I want to continually push forward and excel in every single area of my life - I want to grow; I want to be challenged; I want to change.

So, as the parable that God has given me for 2009, I pray that this year will be a year to take everything that God has given me and increase it. I want to move forward in every single area - areas where I have been lazy and disorganized - my house - my music - my serving in the church - my serving outside of the church. I want to pour every ounce of myself into increasing what God has given me. Then I want to look back at the end of this year to see all that God has accomplished through and inside of me and I want to praise Him. I want Him to be glorified in everything. I want to show my appreciation for what He is given me by increasing the value and handing it back to Him to make his kingdom just that much richer.

No One More Than I

2008-12-10T06:51:00.002-05:00

In Matthew 18, Jesus tells a story to illustrate His point on forgiveness. I'm sure you've heard it - a King is collecting his debts and calls a servant that owes him an enormous amount of money. The man cannot pay, so the King decides to put him in jail. The man begs and pleads; the king is compassionate and lets him leave. Just as he's left the servant sees another servant who owes him an insignificant amount of money. He goes to collect it and of course the man cannot pay. He gets angry and threatens to throw the man in jail. The man begs and pleads, but the servant does not have compassion, and he throws him in jail anyway. The King hears about it becomes angry and throws the servant in jail saying, 'I just forgave all of your debt, why wouldn't you have forgiven this man his tiny debt to you?'

That's the basic idea anyway. This is a basic lesson that we learn as children - do unto others as you would have them do unto you - or we love because God first loved us - but this morning, it all of a sudden became much more personal to me. I will forgive or try to - and get sidetracked by the lies that say, "uh, well, yeah, at least I wouldn't do that...." I fall into the trap of comparing myself to the person that I'm forgiving instead of remembering where I have come from. The truth is that God has forgiven me a debt so enormous, so huge and overwhelming, that there is no way I could have even come close to ever being able to pay it off - Now, NOTHING that ANYONE ever does to me can come close to comparing to the debt that I had towards God. He set the example - He has forgiven me, therefore, I MUST forgive (and not judge). Wow - I don't know if I can get the full weight across of this truth that I stumbled on this morning - perhaps it is too basic. It is basic, but I've missed it. I've always thought of, "Well, I should forgive this person because I've done something similar and God has forgiven me for that" - comparing situation to situation - Instead of looking at the whole picture - God has forgiven my LIFETIME of sin that placed His ONLY SON on the cross to be tortured and killed. He has forgiven me and now I can forgive anyone who's path I cross any instance of sin. Praise the Lord!

Jesus, please heal my judgementalness. Take it away and make my heart right before You in everything. I love You!

Just Rest

2008-11-20T07:03:00.003-05:00

Matthew 11:28-30

"Come to Me all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest or your souls. For My yoke is easy and my burden is light."

I think that I often make my own life tiring and burdensome. I'm wiped out! Still, that doesn't seem to keep me from saying no to new activities and responsibilities. Last night at church we studied a couple of the commandments - 'Remember the Sabbath, keep it holy." Jesus is questioned about keeping the Sabbath and in Mark He states, "the Sabbath was made for man, not Man for the Sabbath." Truthfully, I have not even thought about keeping the Sabbath at all in years, but it seems to me that these thoughts coincide. The point is that we need rest. God knew that we would need rest, so He took a break - while creating the world - to be our example. If God can take a break, why can't I? Is my pride really that out of control to think that whatever business and responsibilities I have are more important that God creating the world?

Its not just a day to sit on the couch and watch TV - its Jesus saying "Come to Me" and "I will give you rest - learn from me. I am gentle (not stressed and snapping at people) and humble in heart." This is the time you (I) spend with the Lord each morning - the time for rest, rejuvenation. However, just a little in the morning doesn't seem to be enough for me. I need more - more time in presence of God to learn from Him - to understand His yoke and His burden.

Matthew 6 - Give me an Undivided Heart!

2008-11-12T06:30:00.004-05:00

As the Sermon on the Mount continues, Jesus moves forward with His theme of motivations. Chapter 6 deals with doing good works to be seen by men - going out of your way to make sure that people see you cleaning the church, watching the kids, etc. etc. Jesus says that people like this have their reward (currently) and that they are not investing in their future. He talks specifically about praying and fasting - the things that make us appear to be spiritual. Instead, He says to not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing - keep it quiet.

Matthew 6:19-21

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven where neither moth nor rust destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal, for where your treasures is, there your heart will be also."

Make an effort to keep your service to the Lord quiet. Do not sit and talk about what you do, check your motives before speaking. Keep your thoughts always before the Lord asking Him to show you the truth in them! In this way, you are laying up treasures in heaven - investing in your future and your heart (mindset/thoughts/motives) will be set on heaven - eternity. That's my goal. To live my life in light of eternity - with eternity always on my mind, shaping the way I see the world around me. God please help me. Show me what is inside of me. Weed out things that do not please You. Show me the truth of my motivations and clean them up so that I can store my treasure in heaven with You.

Matthew 5 - Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect!

2008-11-11T08:57:00.001-05:00

This one chapter is pretty well stuffed with various insights. Mostly, they all seem to work together. Everything in here points to moving beyond the outward appearance and letting God change my heart. He gives me example after example of the difference between just following the law with my actions as opposed to having my motivations changed.... "You have heard it said... but I say to you..."

Jesus is talking about the Law in this chapter and about how He did not come to remove the law but to fulfill it. I don't understand that statement completely, but it seems as though the law is incomplete, unfinished. Jesus came to fill in the gaps. What was missing? I think it is the root motivations for obeying the law. The Jews were so caught up in doing everything just right that their focus was on What they were doing instead of on Why they were doing it. In the end, they missed the point completely. The law said not to murder - Jesus goes to the root and says "do not hate." The law says do not commit adultery - Jesus says, "don't even think about having an affair." He knew these things would be hard - impossible even - so He gave a bit of practical advice. "Whatever is causing (the root) you to sin, get rid of it - cut it off." Why? "Because its better to go without something than it is to lose everything." So I have to ask myself, "What causes me to sin? What do I need to get rid of? What do I need to cut off?" At the moment I'm not even sure.

Jesus cares about what is inside of me. He cares about why I do things (He cares about what I do as well. The why is what differentiates between two of the same action, one could be good and pleasing to the Lord and the other could be as filthy rags before Him).

The chapter closes with Jesus saying, "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." What completes my actions to make them perfect? My motivations.

Save Me From This Man!!!

2008-10-26T17:44:00.002-04:00

Psalm 43
"Vindicate me, O God, and plead my case against an ungodly nation; O deliver me from the deceitful and unjust man! For You are the God of my strength; why have You rejected me? Why do i go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy? O send out Your light and your truth, let them lead me; Let them bring me to your holy hill And to Your dwelling places. Then I will go to the altar of God, To God my exceeding joy; And upon the lyre I shall praise You, O God, my God. Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him, The help of my countenance and my God."

So, tonight I read this from a new perspective that all of a sudden made it relevant to my life- The deceitful and unjust man is the sinful nature that lives inside of me. The sin that continues to rear its head and try to place me back into bondage. Why do I go on mourning the oppression of this sinful nature inside of me? O send out Your light and Your truth - let them lead me. Let them bring me to You!! This is my prayer, God. Bring me to You!!

Exit From Bondage - Exodus 13 & 14

2008-10-04T06:58:00.002-04:00

Pharaoh has finally relented and the Israelites are on their way out of Egypt. God says Four times in chapter 3, I have brought you out by strength of hand. I assume its to clear up any confusion about whether it was God that brought them out, Moses that convinced Pharaoh to take them out, or Pharaoh being worn down until he gave in. God knew what it was going to take to get Israel out from the very beginning and He saw it through until the end.

God did not lead the Israelites out through the land of the Philistines even though it was near. He knew that they were not yet ready to see war and that if they did they would regret leaving Egypt and want to return. Its the same now - Whether you are first being saved or continually walking through the steps of being freed from bondage to sin, when God brings us out, He doesn't leave us to fend for ourselves. He protects us from the battles that He knows we cannot win and He brings us to a place of having to depend on Him. For Israel, that place was the Red Sea - a dead end. Here the Egyptians catch up to Israel now that they have changed their minds about letting them go. God steps in to intervene - He holds the Egyptians back, He provides safe passage out for Israel, and then He destroys the once captors of Israel - before their very eyes, without them having to lift a finger. All they had to do was follow the route of escape that He had prepared for them.

I Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.

There's the promise and back in Exodus we saw an example. Where's the practicality? Trust God. Look to Him to lead you. Some days will bring temptation and evil that feels like they will overthrow you, but the Word of God says they will not - You will either be given the strength to fight and conquer or a way of escape will be made for you to run through. The bottom line is Trust God.

Faithfulness of God Psalm 119:90

2008-09-27T08:39:00.003-04:00

Psalm 119:90
"Your faithfulness endures to all generations. You have established the earth and it stands fast."

Its interesting to read a verse that seems simple and straightforward and then to break it down and put it back together and see a more full and complete meaning begin to surface. When I first read this verse, I was almost bored with it. "Yeah, yeah, I know, God's faithfulness endures to all generations....this is elementary - Christianity 101 - when are we going to get to something deep and life changing?" 2 Timothy 3:16 says that "all scripture is God-breathed and useful..." So really, there shouldn't be any that we just skip over as being simple minded and ordinary.... I want to start with breaking this one down:

Your faithfulness: 'emuwnah - firmness, fidelity, steadfastness, steadiness, security
Endures to all generations: dowr - period, age, generation, habitation, dwelling. It comes from the root word duwr - going around, heap up, dwell
You have established: kuwn - to exist, to be, firm, stable, firmly established, be ready, be settled
The earth: 'erets - the whole earth, as opposed to a portion
It stands fast: 'amad - to stand, remain, endure

So rewritten, it could say something like: "Your fidelity and steadiness are like a dwelling place - they are piled up for the age. You have made the earth exist and it still stands.

God's faithfulness surrounds us and it lasts forever. To get the point across, we are given an example of that faithfulness - God created the entire earth and everything on and in it. Beyond just creating it, every moment he is keeping it in place - causing it to remain. Its an interesting example because as human beings our thought process is able to comprehend back to "the beginning of time" or the creation of the world. That is where our life began, so to us, it is the beginning. So here is the example that God has given to us in order to wrap our minds around the concept of His faithfulness - as far back as you can go - as far back as your mind can rationalize - I was there! I was creating your world, giving it form, and I have caused it to last until this very moment. I have been there since the beginning (and even before) and I am here now. I have always been faithful, I am faithful, and the world you live in is just one little bit of proof.

Isn't it beautiful? I recently read a quote by Lee Strobel in "The Case for the Real Jesus" that says, "...my faith is only as good as the One I believe in." Here in Psalm 119:90 God is saying through the psalmist, "I am faithful, your faith is safe in me."

Too Much Pressure

2008-09-16T06:52:00.003-04:00

God brought the Israelites to Egypt to escape the 7 years of famine in Joseph's time. They were safe in Egypt. They were not able to intermarry, so they remained separate and flourished. Time goes by, a new Pharaoh arises and slowly the Israelites are turned into slaves. God sees this, thinks on His covenant and sends Moses to lead His people out of bondage. God meets Moses on the top of a mountain and tells him His plan to rescue Israel from Egypt. And then Moses starts:

Exodus 4:10-14

"Please, Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither recently nor in time past, nor since You have spoken to Your servant; for I am slow of speech and slow of tongue." The Lord said to him, "Who has made man's mouth? Or who makes him mute or deaf, or seeing or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now then go, and I, even I, will be with your mouth and teach you what you are to say." But he said, "Please Lord, now send the message by whomever you will." The the anger of the Lord burned against Moses and He said, "Is there not your brother Aaron the Levite? I know that he speaks fluently. And moreover, behold he is coming out to meet you; when he sees you, he will be glad in his heart."

At this point, God had already shown Moses several miracles and still Moses didn't trust Him. Excuse after excuse, Moses did not trust God with his life. He placed too much pressure on himself to perform instead of trusting that God would be able to do whatever He wanted with and through Moses simply because He is God. How many times do I doubt God's ability to do whatever He wants with me. I see my list of failures and I know my weaknesses. Doesn't God know them even more?

The story continues and Moses continues to doubt and question everything that God said He could do. He questioned and doubted God's motives and His ability to be able to work through Moses. Its kind of a depressing story. Imagine all the extra stress causes by just simply not trusting God.

Jesus, My Kinsman Redeemer

2008-09-15T07:08:00.002-04:00

The story of Ruth centers around her Kinsman Redeemer, Boaz. It is a beautiful representation of what Jesus has done for us. The word Redeemer means to buy back, to ransom, to purchase. There were 3 qualification for a Kinsman Redeemer - 1. You must have the RIGHT to redeem what was lost, 2. You must have the ABILITY to redeem what was lost, 3. You must WANT to redeem what was lost. You can look at it two ways to prove that Jesus has the RIGHT to redeem us - 1. He created us in his image 2. He became man to be like us. Perhaps its the combination of the two. Either way, he is our next of kin, and therefore has the RIGHT to redeem us. The payment needed was that of a perfect sacrifice which only Jesus had the ABILITY to provide. Thirdly, He WANTED to redeem us. We were originally created for fellowship with Him. His sacrifice enables us to have that once again - now and for all eternity.

God meant it for good

2008-09-13T07:47:00.000-04:00

Genesis 45:5-8

"Now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves because you sold me here, for God sent me before you to preserve life. For the famine has been in the land these two years, and there are still five years in which there will be neither plowing nor harvesting. God sent me before you to preserve for you a remnant in the earth and to keep you alive by a great deliverance. Now therefore it was not you who sent me here but God; and He has made me a father to Pharaoh and lord of all his household and ruler over all the land of Egypt."

Genesis 50:20

"As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive. So therefore, do not be afraid; I will provide for you and your little ones. So he comforted them and spoke kindly to them."

I'm sure that you're at least partially aware of the story of Joseph. So here's a very short summation that will in no way do the story any kind of justice - He was his father's favorite son. All of his brothers hated him. They hated him so much that they sold him into slavery and went back to his father claiming he was dead. Joseph worked hard as a slave and became the overseer of all the other slaves in the household where he lived. One day he was wrongfully accused of a crime and thrown in jail. While in jail, he was faithful and 'promoted' to be in charge of all the other prisoners. During this time he interpreted 2 dreams for men in the jail. One was set free and the other was killed. Some time later Pharaoh had a dream that no one could interpret and the man who had been set free remembered Joseph. Joseph was brought before Pharaoh and the Lord gave him the interpretation to his dream. Egypt would have 7 years of fruitful harvest that would be followed by 7 years of severe famine. Pharaoh didn't know what to do, so he placed Joseph in charge of everything - all of Egypt, higher than everyone except himself. The famine spread and affected everyone in the land. Joseph's brothers went to Egypt to buy food and now they find themselves face to face with Joseph - the most powerful man in Egypt - whom they had sold into slavery. Joseph's response to them is written above. "It was not you who sent me here but God." That was Joseph's heart. God was in control of his circumstances in life and he knew it with every fiber of his being. And knowing that, enabled him to forgive his brothers for the awful things they had done to him without holding onto any bitterness. You cannot fully trust God and be angry at people for what they do to you. You either believe that God is in complete control and working out a master plan or you don't. Its very simple - very difficult - but very simple. Joseph knew that God was in control when he was a slave. That is why he worked hard and showed himself to be faithful and full of character - not for his master, but for his Master - God. As a result of being faithful and full of good character, Joseph was taken from being a slave and thrown in jail like a common criminal (nice reward) Where was God in that one?? In control. We have come to believe this false idea that God being in control equals some kind of physical blessing - money - power - position - friends - health. Its a lie from Satan himself. We fight against uncomfortable situations and do whatever we can to get out of them. Instead of looking for an escape, Joseph chose to thrive - exactly where he was, no matter where he was. He worked hard and waited on the Lord. In the end, God took care of everything - He provided for Joseph, He provided for Joseph's family, He healed broken relationships, and ensured the survival of His chosen people.

How many times a day do you doubt that God is in complete control? How many sinful reactions can be avoided by shifting your mindset?

Hidden in my heart - II Corinthians 10:3-6

2008-09-07T07:59:00.000-04:00

II Corinthians 10:3-6

For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled.

I decided this morning that I must learn this verse. Christians use the term "taking every thought captive" all the time, and I really had no idea where it came from. I'm trying to make more of an effort to understand where the different cliche's come from that we so often use and what their complete context is. This verse in particular is important to me because my thoughts wander something terrible! I'll be in the middle of praying and the next thing I know I'm dwelling on thoughts of being angry towards someone or thinking about what I'd like to say to someone. Its a bit ridiculous really. So here is my new verse and my prayer is that the Lord will bring it to my mind each time my mind begins to wander. Perhaps one day those thoughts will disappear altogether.

Hidden in my heart - I John 4:18

2008-09-06T07:52:00.000-04:00

I John 4:18

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.

I'm going to try to explain this one the best I can.... it might take a while-

Recently my Pastor spoke on sin and made the comment that perpetual sins in your life are a result of unbelief in your heart. It didn't make a ton of sense to me at the beginning, but the thought stayed with me throughout my week and as different moments of sin arose I quickly saw the truth of what he had said. For instance, my husband just had internet and cable installed in our home. We went with one company for high speed internet and another for HDTV. Along with HDTV comes a host of channels that I really wanted nothing to do with. I see it as a waste of money and just another distraction added to our lives. So, the day the installers were here at our house I threw a bit of a fit - mostly inward - but a fit nonetheless. left the house and went and sat in a parking lot and cried out to God (I know it seems a bit dramatic, but it had been a tough week). I explained to God why I was so upset. His reply was my Pastor's words, "your sin is a result of unbelief in your heart." So I tried to sort it out... I'm angry and I through a fit to ruin my husband's happiness with all of his new toys. Where does unbelief fit in? Really it was all over the place, but I think the main bit was I was afraid that the TV would consume my husband's life and become all he cares about. I didn't have the faith to trust the Lord to see it through. Ultimately, it was my unbelief towards God that caused me to sin toward my husband. I prayed and asked the Lord to forgive me and walked away with a completely new perspective. My husband works very hard at his job in order to provide for us. One of the things he REALLY REALLY loves is to watch sports - all of them, but most of all football - and that's all he does watch - nothing trashy - and not all the time. But its what he enjoys - and after a long day working hard its what I feel he deserves and should be able to enjoy without his wife off pouting in the corner. The TV hasn't been an issue since. (Praise God!)

Good job - you've made it through all of that, now I'm going to try and tie it back in =)

Fear is unbelief - not trusting God and taking matters into your own hands (even if its just to worry). God IS love - the very essence of it. There is no fear in God because He IS everything - in control of everything - bigger than everything - the creator of everything - it goes on and on. There is no fear in love - there is no room for it. Perfect love casts out fear. Fear, which is ultimately sin, involves punishment (the consequence) and the one who fears is not perfected in love. Its through coming to a more full and more complete understanding of God and his power that we love him more and trust him more. As that love grows, our fears fade. Our trust increases and our unbelief is swept away as we continue to be perfected in love.

Hidden in my heart - Romans 14:12 & 13

2008-09-06T07:33:00.000-04:00

Romans 14:12 & 13

So then each of us shall give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother's way.

This one hits me pretty hard because it is a constant struggle for me to not default to being judgemental at any given moment. Its so easy to look at a person and see everything wrong that they are doing and quickly compare it to everything wrong that you are NOT doing (or so it seems). My struggles have been mostly carnal and fleshly. With people that struggle in similar ways I have unending compassion and I work hard to help them and be a good example. With people on the opposite side of the spectrum, semi-legalistic, proud and straight laced, I have little to no compassion for. I find myself going out of my way to prove that it doesn't matter how you look or the sound of the music you listen to that determines your depth of a relationship with Jesus. Instead of "bearing up" along side them and loving them, I quickly judge and almost look to offend. What I really should be doing is choosing to NOT put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in their way, and LOVING them the same way Jesus does. Memorizing this verse helps me to stay focused on the company that I am in and what I can do to be a light at that moment instead of pushing what I think is important or what I want to do. It takes the focus off of me and puts it on the people surrounding me.

Hidden in my heart - Genesis 2:18

2008-09-06T07:26:00.000-04:00

Genesis 2:18

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make him a helper *suitable for him."

*corresponding to

Isn't that beautiful? I was made as a "suitable" helper for my husband - specifically "corresponding" to him. This just jumped out at me when I first started reading through Genesis. I think its awesome the way God works. I pray that he will make me more and more a helper that specificly corresponds to my husband's needs.

Hidden in my heart - Psalm 4:4-8

2008-09-05T06:54:00.000-04:00

Psalm 4:4-8

Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed and be still. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord.

Out of the verses I have recently chosen to memorize, this has been the most useful. I probably say it to myself at least once a day - not to practice - just to keep myself from blowing up. You know what, it works! The moment I feel myself begin to be offended or my pride to be stepped on, or just plain irritated with someone, "Be angry and do not sin" pops into my head. Then I think about the rest of the verse. This one is so powerful to me, because it not only says what Not To Do, it gives the What To Do. "Do not sin." How?? The answer is "meditate within your heart on your bed and be still." In other words, don't complain about the offense to others, don't run and 'vent' to your confidants. Meditate on it - but it doesn't stop there. Offer the sacrifices of righteousness - Bring it to the Lord. Share your hurt, your causes for offense, your frustrations with him. (Warning!! Chances are He'll show you your part in being offended or hurt in the first place) And to wrap it up, "Put your trust in the Lord." Know that He is in control. Know that He loves you. Know that He will always take care of you and that He will work out every situation for His glory. Praise God!!

Building a Remembrance

2008-09-05T06:29:00.000-04:00

A remembrance is defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary as: something that serves to keep in or bring to mind. Many of the admired men in the Bible built alters, set up memorials, and changed the names of places in order to serve as a remembrance of the things God spoke to them or did for them. Me, well, I'm hoping to make this blog a remembrance - in order to look back over all the things that God has spoken to me through His Word and to track answered prayers.

It seems that every time the Lord uses a story in His Word to speak to me, I have an opportunity to share it with someone else to encourage them. Making these 'lessons' accessible to anyone who's interested seemed like the next logical step. I hope that you are blessed.